During my time as a manager in a Microfinance Bank I discovered something which is that we have more women borrowing to do business than men, and I felt it was because women are mostly found in the small and medium size enterprise than men. But I was soon to discover how wrong I was yes, I was wrong because one of the prerequisite in obtaining these loans was that your spouse if you’re married will serve as one of your guarantors. At first the management thought this will be like putting your eggs in one basket but then again we were wrong because this gave us more insight on the financial burden that the borrower is carrying and how it would affect the repayment of the loans.
Now my surprising discovery was that most women were increasingly becoming the bread winners of their family, and that their husbands are genuinely unemployed, too lazy or proud to do anything meaningful, retired and not healthy and so are incapable of taking care of the family and so on and so forth. We also discovered that this group of women found it difficult to keep to their repayment schedule because of the many financial burden they are meant to carry like, paying of school fees, feeding, medicals, day to day running of the home as well as their business. This gave me a great concern.
This norm among today’s men got me worried. The increasing state of genuinely unemployed men and the lazy lay about are on the rise. We can understand when a man has tried to get himself employed and become the head of house which he ought to be and searches for employment or something to engage himself with all to no avail. My heart goes out to these men and I pray earnestly that God will make a way.
The greatest worry there is that certain of them are getting very comfortable with this condition and are even beginning to reverse the role to women. These men also have male children who look up to them and many at time turn out to be like them and so some of these young men today think it’s just proper to marry a rich woman or rich man’s daughter who will take care of them how sad. These ones I think are sick and needs to be psycho-analyzed. This does not in any way fit the description of an African man.
This norm is beginning to eat deep into our society and I think is time to look for solution to this problem.
My advice to our women is that we are home builders and so should impress it on our children that there is dignity in becoming financially independent whether you are a male or female child. Secondly, that it is the duty of a man to provide for his family, while the wife supports. Trying times come in the life of every marriage but the men who are men will always find a way to forge ahead no matter how little they contribute it will go along way. But let the men around understand that they will never be dignified as men if they just sit at home and lazy about.
My heart goes out to most Nigerian women who are now the bread winners of their immediate and extended families. It breaks my heart to see them toil day and night to make ends meet.May God reward all your hustle, Stay blessed.