confession Counselling Family Lifestyle Literature

Who will help me?

I don’t know what have become of Enyioma as the mere mention of his name brings back unpleasant memories. Till date men repulse me but I will love to change my story, I am still single at 45 years of age because I have not healed from the abuse. Sex is a dirty thing to me because I see Enyioma in every man. How do I go back to my innocent age devoid of the likes of Enyioma and live my innocent childhood to full? I have tried therapy but it has not yielded an encouraging result. Who can help me out of this dilemma.

I was barely nine when Enyioma and the family moved into our house as a result of the religious riot in the North They had no where else to go because no one was able to take in a family of six with their father and mother making them eight in number, not even at that time of austerity measure and SAP . It was a terrible time, but because my father was a top executive in a well known brewery we were living in a 5 bedroom duplex with two sitting rooms, a dinning , a big kitchen in a very large compound. Enyioma’s father was my fathers very close friend turned brother, so Daddy could not turn a blind eye to him at such a difficult situation. We were regarded as aje butter, even though we were six in number we were all well catered for. Three of my elder ones where in state boarding schools while the remaining ones where in primary school.

Most of Enyioma’s siblings were my mates so I was glad I had playmates to play with and do our domestic chores like plates washing, cleaning the compound even though the indomie generation will not understand this but in the eightys that was normal way of life whether there are houseshelps or not. We all go to same school, but at a time they number of students became too much and could not be accommodated by the school so we were divided into morning and afternoon section cause their were few public schools and no private schools as at then. So I was unfortunate to fall into the afternoon section, unfortunate because you will never imagine how it feels to begin dressing up for school under a scorching sun when others should be getting ready to return home from school.

Enyioma had already finished sitting for his West African School Examination but scored a straight F9s in all his subject as an itiboribo if you know what that means. So in the morning when others leave for work and school I was always left alone in the house with Enyioma; since my Mum is always engaged in one church activities or the other , despite the fact that she was a housewife.

So on this fateful day I heard Enyioma scream my name. Did you call me Brother Enyioma I asked as soon as I was about to climb the staircase he beckoned on me to come up . I ran to him innocently to know why he was calling, he show me the magazine he was holding . so I walked to him excitedly thinking it was a style magazine for children clothes, since Mummy was looking for styles to make for us for the fabrics she bought for Christmas celebration. But I was shocked and embrassed to see different nude pictures of adults staring at me. I became glued at the spot and did not know how to react because I have not seen such before and no one had ever told me that they look that ugly. I had never had any sex education in my entire ife. Parents hardly talk or educate their children about sex then, so a mere mention of it will attract a resounding slap. As I looked up I saw Brother Enyioma grinning cheek to cheek. I was wondering what was funny about it when he held my hands and forced me to hold his private parts I cried and I tried to pull away from him but he hit me with his other hands, pulled me to himself and forcefully put his fingers in my Private parts. I screamed but no one heard me . After he was done he asked me to go wash up and dress for school and warned me sternly never to mention it to anyone or he will tell everyone that I am the one who came to show him my private part imagine such a blackmail as at that time when children were never allowedto be vocal .

This became an ordeal every other day except for Saturdays and Sundays. After a while he began to forc himself into me. I was young , innocent, underage but no one noticed till I became a shadow of myself. My mother never noticed , I could not tell anyone for the fear of being blackmailed as Enyioma threatened. I was so timid and felt so dirty at such a young age. As I grew into a teenager I prayed constantly that Enyioma and his family will move out of our house so that I will be saved from constant harassment and sexual abuse. Luckily they moved from our house before I had my first menstruation at fifteen years old , otherwise I would have become pregnant at such a tender age.

I don’t know what have become of Enyioma as the mere mention of his name brings back unpleasant memories. Till date men repulse me but I will love to change my story, I am still single at 48 years of age because I have not healed from the abuse. Sex is a dirty thing to me because I see Enyioma in every man. How do I go back to my innocent age devoid of the likes of Enyioma and live my innocent childhood to full? I have tried therapy but it has not yielded an encouraging result. Who can help me out of this dilemma.

Sent as received the victim wishes to be anonymous . “Tell us that story you will never tell anyone your secret is safe with us.

Urisfame